My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
