Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
