He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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