What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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