If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
