Sponge bath it is.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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