I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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