you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
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