Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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