When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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