I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
