they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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