Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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