If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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