but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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