My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
