wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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