There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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