I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
