Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
