And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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