so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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