I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
