I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
