Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
