I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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