So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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