What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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