I'm laying in your front yard are you home
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize