Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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