Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
