Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
