I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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