She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
