The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
