You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Everything about him screamed your future.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
