he shaved USA in his pubs
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
