I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
