This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
