we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize