so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
