I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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