chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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