I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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