I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
