I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
