For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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