My brain says no but my pants say off.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
