Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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