New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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