But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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