I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
