I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
