omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
