I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
this must be what syphilis tastes like
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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